The Importance of Emotional Intelligence – with Farah Harris

If you have followed me for a while, you have heard me say emotional intelligence is one of the cornerstones of diversity, equity, and inclusion work.

So what is emotional intelligence, or EQ?

The Institute for Health and Human Potential defines emotional intelligence as ‘the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.’

When I decided to start with this topic, I knew no one else I wanted to talk to about EQ other than Farah Harris, founder of Working Well Daily and the author of the upcoming book – The Color of Emotional Intelligence. Farah is a Workplace and Belonging Specialist and speaks about emotional intelligence’s importance in DEI. When we met a few years ago, we connected out of mutual respect for each other’s work and became fast friends.  So, when I started to think about who I wanted to be a part of DEI After 5, she was one of the first people I called because she would set the foundation for what practitioners need to know as they begin to connect EQ with DEI.

According to Farah, emotional intelligence consists of 4 core elements:

• Self-awareness–  Having the ability to tune in with yourself and how you are feeling in the moment.
• Self-management/Self-control – Being able to control and manage your feelings
• Social awareness – Being able to read the room. This is also where we can lean into being empathetic to others’ feelings.
• Relationship Management – enables you to be an effective communicator, motivator, and manage conflict

Once we can identify our emotions, we also need to be able to regulate them. Farah uses the analogy of Cesar Millan and walking the dog to discuss self-awareness and self-management. When we think about our emotions, we need to ask ourselves – are we in control?  Are our emotions in front of us, leading us and guiding our decisions like a dog pulling us all over the place, or are they behind us, where we have no insight into what is happening or if the dog is still even there? When we are in tune with our emotions, we learn to walk with and engage them for what they are in the moment.

Well, how can you start engaging with your emotions? 

Farah offers this advice – Begin a self-audit of your feelings and emotions.

Take inventory of your emotions first thing in the morning and right before you go to bed.  Think about how you are feeling with no judgment. Write down the emotion and ask yourself: What brought on this feeling? Where did it come from? Once you’ve done this for a few weeks, add another checkpoint in your day to the journal.  Over time you will begin to notice the number of emotions you experience throughout the day and determine if there are certain emotions tied to specific interactions. I recommend downloading the Equity Equation Emotional Intelligence Journal sheet as a great starting point.

Where can you find Farah?

Website: www.workingwelldaily.com
IG:@workingwelldaily
Twitter: @farahharrisLCPC